I’ve had a couple of requests to write about mixed relationships and the difficulties and prejudices. Of course, I can’t speak for all mixed couples but I’ll tell you about my experience, so here goes.
Friends, I can say that it’s been really hard. Coming from a strict Greek background, it was always drummed into me that I would marry a nice Greek boy and have Greek babies – just like in the film, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. That’s what I wanted too. I never imagined that I would marry outside my culture. The plan was that I would finish University and then move to Cyprus, (where my parents had already bought me a house), meet someone and start my cosy new life. But then I met Michael.
We had difficulties right from the start. The day I told my friends I liked him and that I was going to tell him, they literally grabbed me and pulled me back. “He’s not your type Chris, are you crazy?” A few days into the relationship, a gym buddy also expressed how disappointed he was in me. “I think you’re making a really big mistake.” There were stares of disapproval from people, and there were times that I felt really insecure about the relationship, thinking that he didn’t really want to be with me, but with someone black. It was the cause of countless arguments and lots of jealousy.
When I finally told my father about Michael, I was expecting him to hit the roof but instead he kissed me on the forehead. He was actually saying goodbye to me because from that day, he disowned me.
On my wedding day, my mum drove me to the church and I was fighting back tears because I wanted my daddy to be giving me away. I had to pull myself together and not allow anything to spoil my big day.
So why am I telling you all this? Relationships in general are not easy, especially in the early stages and dating or marrying someone outside your culture is just another added ‘difficulty’. There will be differences from the kind of food you eat, to the way you think children should be brought up.
Are you prepared for that? Are you prepared to compromise? Are you prepared to sacrifice what you want to do? Are you prepared to even lose family, as in my case, for your relationship?
It sounds like I’m against mixed relationships. Really I’m not. I never regret marrying Michael. I love him so much and our differences actually make our relationship more interesting. We’ve been marrried for 13 years nowand we’ve learned so much from one another. Although my father started speaking to me again, he has yet to meet Michael, but I know that this will change one day.
So, before getting into a mixed relationship, be realistic and consider what’s ahead.
