And then came the part I want to focus this post on. She said she was still in love with the father of her children. Digging deeper, I discovered that she hadn’t actually seen this man or been in much contact with him for 12 years. And then it dawned on me. How could anyone be in love with someone that they haven’t had a relationship with for so long? No, I didn’t think she still loved him. She was in love with the IDEA of him.
Because her life had been in such a mess for years, her mind was going back to a time when she was happy and that was when she was with her ex-partner and subconsciously she thought that she would only be happy if she was with him again.
This made so much sense to her. I advised her to focus on solving the problems she had and receiving the abundant life promised to her, thus creating a fresh happy life that didn’t involve this ex. She agreed to do this and was determined to change her life.
How many times do our emotions deceive us in this way? When hard times come, we think of and miss the ‘good old days’ of the past, somehow forgetting that things were worse back then. If you are married for example and you go through a problem with your spouse, perhaps your mind goes to your ex. Discipline your mind and start thinking of ways to solve the problem with your spouse instead. Think of an example that relates to you and see if your emotions are not deceiving you in this same way.
I caught up with this lady recently and do you know what she told me? Her ex called her out of the blue after years of no contact and told her that he wanted her back and that he was having problems with his wife. While he was speaking, she realised that they had nothing in common anymore and felt absolutely nothing towards him. She told him to sit down with his wife, talk to her and sort out their problems. She was so happy when she was telling me. It was proof that her emotions were just playing tricks on her.
The past is in the past for a reason. Let’s move forward to new and better things.
As you said Mrs chris the past is the past and we need to move forward usally our emotions play tricks on us and bring us back to the time we were most happy and not bring us back to the situation of whats best for us thanks mrs chris. K.Gordon(UK)
ReplyDeleteSo true - I have met people who think they are still in love with an ex they haven't seen for years and I'd always thought, just as you wrote, that they are in love with the idea of him or her. I hate to say this, but a couple of years ago my husband told me he thought he was still in love with a lady whom he hadn't seen for 26 years - although he'd frequently tell me that he loved me. After I got over the shock of his admission I prayed about it, and then I explained as best I could that he was in love the idea of his ex-girlfriend. He finally understood what I was trying to say and believe me, he now loves me AND cherishes me much more than he used to. (We have been married for 19 years).
ReplyDeleteGood post.
Thank-you Mrs Chris for sharing these I honestly believe its God speaking to me frm the heart because I have been caught up in these same boat as that lady for so long where I always convinced myself am still inlove with my ex and will never forget him.when I gave my life to God I remember these impeding me from truly surrendering my all to God as apart of me was clinging on to my past I had to make a decision an eventually got strength too i cut him out of my life,took him off my fb,Skype ,got rid of every memory of him ,his pictures,gifts he gave an now am free an can finally move forward.thank you so much you have given me more strength to go on.God bless
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