Recently a friend asked me to call a work mate of his who was going through serious problems with her partner and was quite distraught as they were in the process of breaking up after being together for a few years.
I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive about calling her as I’d never met her, but he assured me that she wanted to hear from me as she was desperate for advice.
So I called and she poured out her heart to me, sobbing. He’d already broken up with her and had said that they would never get back together as he’d had enough. She wasn’t taking no for an answer and was constantly calling and texting him and even turning up at his workplace begging for him to take her back. He said he would only call her so she could collect some of her things and to say goodbye.
I listened to all she had to say and was very honest with her. I told her that the way she was behaving was driving him further away. She was overpowering, obsessive and very clingy and had basically made her boyfriend her obsession. That’s a lot of pressure on any man. I told her that as long as her whole life revolved around him, she would always have problems. I advised her to cut contact with him completely – to stop the phone calls and the texts and certainly not turn up at his workplace. I told her to get busy with other things, to get a life and stop making him her world. If he happened to contact her, she would be too busy to speak to him. She told me that would be very hard for her to do but that she would try.
She did exactly what I advised and more. When he tried texting to see how she was, she didn’t reply. She got busy, went to the gym and starting spending more time with her family. He contacted her to meet up so they could officially break up and she called me to ask advice. She was afraid that she would fall apart and beg him to take her back. I told her she would be strong and mature. Besides, even if it was the end, at least she had learned how not to behave be in a future relationship.
That same evening, she sent me a text to say that she didn’t cry, didn’t beg, and he ended up crying and asking her to take him back. He said she seemed very different and was not sure what had happened to her.
Now, my point here isn’t the fact that they got back together but her willingness in doing what she didn't feel like doing. Instead of reacting in an emotional way which was getting her nowhere, she did something different. Sometimes, this is all it takes for us to change certain situations in our life.
I think you've told us this before in our Skype meeting...I admire this woman also as she clearly shows how far you can go with having faith and obedience. It is funny because these two things are simple acts, but as usual we humans (especially Christians) like to overcomplicate things! When you think and look at the bigger picture, Jesus does not ask for much all he desperately wants us to do is believe!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you!xxxx
Hi Mrs Chris.You is a blessed woman of God
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget your words teach us how to serve God
You gave an example for married women, I'll never forget.I have good results until now. lol
I felt great joy in reading this message today.
God bless you even more.
Vanessa Bez.xx
WOW, Amen! the seed has indeed been planted and for sure she will be back! Just goes to show, God doesnt help those who have been in the church for a long time, has a title in the church! No! If you seek Him you will surely find Him!! and I beleive she was seeking Him without actually confessing it, why...? because the fact of her coming to the church and identifying the problems within her says it all, only God can reveal such things to us, the devil points fingers else where and not at us!
ReplyDeleteThis message was what I needed to hear today. Being and acting needy and desperate is not the right way for anything but choosing to believe and doing the exact opposite, I believe that's when we really allow God to act, it may seem as if we are losing out but on the contrary we are not.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this.
This is very strong Mrs.Chris...
ReplyDeleteIts shows just how important obedience is. We can cry many tears because of our problems and ask for millions of advice, but when we simply choose not to put those into practice, then NOTHING DONE!
WHEN WE TRULY BELIEVE, WE OBEY.
What a perfect example this is.....Thank you for sharing!
x
This is very strong, it really does show that when your needy you don't believe but when you use your faith and take the right actions it can all turn around for you in a way you could of never imagined. I needed this because i on many occasions have been that person but i am learning to listen and take actions in the way that God wants,believing that He will do what I cannot do to turn any situation around.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great example of faith for me. I believe that lady could have just dismissed your advise. But even though she didn't know you she took it on board, and God honored.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing
For me this highlights the importance of obedience despite what your emotions say. If she did choose to listen to her emotions she would have pushed him even further away.
ReplyDeletethe thing that stands out most to me is to be obedient although at times it maybe hard to as you are in to minds but in to the long run things will work out for the best.
ReplyDeleteHello maam, this is Melody from UCKG Philippines. I like so much this article. Your sound advice had saved a relationship and a woman's obedience had won her man's heart. Thanks for the article and the lesson learned.
ReplyDeleteThis is very true a lot of us just expect to pray and for it to fall from the sky but we must act to see results!!!BTW I really liked this message very interesting and helpful!!
ReplyDeleteWow, to think that she never even came to the church but still listened to the voice of God which was through you, yet many times I go church, listen in service , even get up and dance and say amen, but sometimes when the voice of God speak to me, through the pastor, or people like assistants, pr.Wife, I try and go another way around it, they say do this i'll do that. It just makes your situation worse and its not like I can say I was not told, because I was I just chose to say, 'it's too hard' or 'I can't do it' or 'God knows my heart, so He understands'. Disobedience only pushes the blessings away.
ReplyDeleteDami Hackney