The day I told him I liked him

I had terrible butterflies in my stomach and was wondering whether I was doing the right thing. There I was sitting in a café with my friend, just waiting for him to walk past so I could do something that I’d never done before. I’d decided that that was the day I was going to tell him that I liked him and that he was special.

“There he is” my friend said as he walked past. I felt sick. What if I was about to ruin a good friendship? What if he said he didn’t feel the same way about me? What if he told all his friends and I would end up being the laughing stock of the whole University? But for some reason, I still wanted to go ahead with it.

“Right, I’m going,” I said to her. “Are you sure this is what you want to do Chris? He’s not your type.” No, he wasn’t my usual type but there was something different about him. He was kind, mature, sensible and I felt good around him. We had great talks and I could see that he was the type of person that would treat a woman well.

“I’m sure and if I don’t do it now, I might never have the guts to do it.” “Alright” she said. "It’s up to you."

I ran out of the café only to bump into two other friends who grabbed me by the arm to stop me going after him. “Chris, don’t do it! He’s not your type at all!” Why on earth had I opened my big mouth to tell anyone? “Sorry guys, I’ve made up my mind.
He was just about to walk into the canteen when I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Um…can a have a quick word?” “Oh hi Chris” he said turning around. “Sure”.

I was shaking by this point. I had to find somewhere private so I led him to a little alcove near the canteen where no one was around. He looked a little confused. “What’s up?” I froze… “W..Well, I just wanted to let you know… that … I like someone.” A big smile spread across his face. “Really? Go on then, who is it?” He thought it was one of his friends! He had no idea I was talking about him. Words wouldn’t come out of my mouth so I just slowly pointed at him. My arm felt like lead. “ME???!” he said loudly “You like ME?” Still, the words weren’t coming out so I went bright red and just nodded. He looked so shocked and I wondered whether I should have listened to my friends. “Oh” he said lost for words. How awkward. What was going to happen now? I stayed silent looking down and it seemed like forever before one of us spoke. Finally, I thought of something to say. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know.” “Chris, thanks for telling me but… I don’t see you like that. I see you as a really good friend.” And that’s how the conversation ended...

Many people live a life of regrets. They want to go for things in life but fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of all sorts of things gets the better of them and ‘What ifs’ drown out their dreams. ‘I want to start my own business but what if it doesn’t work out?’ ‘I want to ask that person out but what if they say no?’ ‘I’d love to try out a completely different look but what if I don’t like it?’ What if, what if, what if? But I say to you: WHAT IF IT WORKS OUT?

Living with regrets is terrible and can end up making a person very unhappy. So what if you try something and it doesn’t work out? AT LEAST YOU TRIED. At least you won’t be looking back in a few years at missed opportunities and feeling really badly about yourself. Of course, when we step out there and take risks, we will fail from time to time, we may look ridiculous, people may talk, but these things pass and are nothing compared to the emptiness and unhappiness we will feel for not having at least tried.

I felt embarrassed when my friend told me that he only saw me as a friend, but I was glad that I’d told him and the embarrassment lasted just a short time and I moved on. So I was quite surprised when two weeks later he called me to say that he’d been thinking about me and wanted to go out on a date. We’ve now been married for almost 15 years. Now what if I’d never told him I’d liked him?