Final part of '10 Ways to Change Your Man into a Grump'

Compare him to other men you know, and tell him how he doesn’t measure up.

Imagine this scenario of a woman speaking to her man. “Oh, I saw Joanne and her husband today. He’s doing really well at work. Can you believe he’s been promoted again? Talk about clever and hardworking. And he’s ever such a good husband – helps her around the house and he REALLY takes care of his body. You could take a leaf out of his book you know. You really need to work a bit harder to get promoted too. It would be nice if you could help out more around the house…maybe you could join the gym."

This is a sure way to make a man feel small and insignificant. When you got married to him, it shouldn’t have been with the intention of changing him. In fact, what should have been first and foremost in your mind is to GIVE because of your love for him.

There was a time in my marriage when I made this mistake. One of the things that I first noticed about my husband and liked was that he was mature and quiet. Most of the other guys at Uni were loud, would show off and try to impress people, and would make sure they were noticed. But Michael was different. He got on with what he had to do. But he was also friendly and such a nice person – really helpful and cared for people. He was different. But then after we got married and I noticed that his colleagues were louder and talked more, cracked more jokes and that sometimes people misunderstood his quietness for something negative, I started to wish he was different. And so I started suggesting that perhaps he could be more talkative… in other words, to change who he was.

But one day, I realised that I’d been comparing him to others and that one of the things that attracted me to him was the very thing that I now wanted him to change. But then that wouldn’t be my Michael. I love him just the way he is and I love him more and more everyday. He doesn’t need to be like anyone else. He’s perfect for me, just as he is...